“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~ Winston S. Churchill

I haven't post anything in 10 months... I put a pause on this journey for about 6 months. I learned some very interesting and unhealthy habits about myself and have also stumbled to get back on a path where I feel in control again. The last 6 years I have developed Binge Eating Disorder (If you aren't sure what it is, google it.). I have worked really hard on controlling it and I refuse to let this define who I am or to allow the enemy to use it against me (I am still working through this it is an everyday battle). With this I am emotional eater so when I am feeling anything.. I find comfort in food, which isn't helpful. 

For me the battle is just getting up and going to the gym...actually putting in the work and prepping my food for the week and sticking to what I have planned. In case you didn't know I am really good at planning and I love it!

One of my dear friends and I were talking about how we want to get back to the gym so she signed up for a membership at the gym and we have gone 3 weeks in a row at 5am. I love working out and I have so much energy and mood all round is just better.  The hard part still is what I eat. I have worked with a few people on this and I have all the tools I need and I know what to do... Now I have to stick to it and follow through with what I plan for myself.

I constantly think about this process and I have learned this is not something I can just walk through by myself. I desire to be healthy, fit, in shape, toned... etc. I have to fully 100% give this desire to God and daily ask for his help.. not just once a day but throughout the day. It is such a hard process but it is so much harder to fight a battle without any weapons or armor and I constantly have put myself in this position and I fail every time. I am so tired of falling down and getting back up and running.. and doing this process over and over again!

This time I stand, but I don't stand alone..because I have partnered with God, I have let him in on this battle and with him I will not be defeated... I will stand rooted him and in victory!