The last couple of weeks have been quite the struggle (although one week was Thanksgiving so I'm not going to count that). There have been several moments where I have thrown my hands in the air and said "not today." I indulged more than I should have and put myself in a place where I allowed myself to be beaten down and I let the negativity take over more than the positivity and more importantly the truth.
The lovely thing about any journey or adventure is that there are scary and tough moments... There is breakthrough and you look back at the memory of it all and proudly say "look what I did!" I remember the first time I conquered my fear of jumping off a diving board... I probably stood on that thing for 15 minutes... a friend said to me in that moment "if you can do this you can do anything!" I immediately jumped off. Looking back at that moment and other very tough moments like graduating college, you look at what you have faced and how you got through it.
The more we fixate on the fear itself it festers and cripples you even more. We have to find hope in the situation we face and grab a hold of that and just jump. You are a lot stronger than the struggle you face..you just have to convince your mind that you are stronger.
So how do you convince yourself you are stronger, and that you can push through and keep going? How do you take a step when you don't want to?
You just have to...
As I sat in my trainer's office yesterday and cried because I was so disappointed in myself she reminded me a few things... First of all I am stronger than everything I am facing in this very moment... So much stronger!
Secondly I am not alone in this process, I may be fighting this fight for myself but I am definitely not fighting it by myself.
Lastly, God is bigger than all of this and although it may not always feel like it he is there for me always.
It's OK to have the bad days.. but face them! Don't try to run or quit or walk away because when that happens, we are defeated. If you need encouragement or motivation, find someone who will speak that over you. Words are very powerful thing. I have them written everywhere. Find some quotes that will help motivate you... Make I AM statements that are positive and read them everyday. This will have influence over you. If you need encouragement and you don't know who to talk to... I would love to give you some! Those who are fighting this similar battle as mine... I pray that in those struggles you find hope to cling to!
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